Saturday, December 30, 2006

HD-DVD Broken

It was only a matter of time really. It was quite amusing seeing this unfold on Doom9 as no one quite believed him. Are we going to see this person vilified and made an example of, as they tried to with DVD Jon? Will this mean all the majors go for Blu-Ray instead? Probably not, because that will just get cracked sooner or later. Ho-hum. Such is the circle of copyright protection life.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Yey!

The Future

It's not exactly what I was going for back in February but it's damn near close enough.

3's newly released X-Series offers 3G services with a flat charge. And no more 'walled garden' internet nonsense. Lookie:

What you get:
  • Unlimited* mobile access to Slingbox and/or Orb
  • Unlimited* Windows Live Messenger already included in your price plan
  • Unlimited* international calls with Skype
  • Unlimited* data to use on:
    • Web surfing with Yahoo! Search and Yahoo! Go
    • Mobile Mail with Yahoo! Mail, GMail and other internet service providers
    • Podcasts
  • eBay - Free on your price plan
I want one. But not yet, they still don't do Skype-out.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Web 2.0 - Or 'The dotcom crash 2.0'

Google buys YouTube for $1.65bn
Rupert 'Beelzebub' Murdoch buys MySpace for $580 million
eBay buys Skype in $2.6bn deal

del.icio.us, blogger, flickr, Picasa - were all bought previously by the same corporations, the difference here being the size of the recent deals.

I've been itching to write something about Web 2.0 because it's been infuriating me for so long. I've read lots of dreadful definitions of Web 2.0. none of them really cut if for me, so here's my own: Web 2.0 - Any website that is unusable on dial up. A lot of people like to put in some sort of social networking aspect, but really, I think that definition pretty much sums them all up. I can go and make a sandwich when I'm waiting for someone's MySpace page to load. That's if it doesn't a) crash my computer or b) plant spyware and steal all my passwords.

What prompted this piece were news reports emerging about Yahoo offering up $1bn for Facebook.com. Nope, never heard of it either. Must be an American thing. Hilarity ensues when you read that they were turned down by the founder, Mark Zuckerberg.

Facebook board member Peter Thiel said last week: “The site's college-aged users make it worth $8 billion or more, as much as Viacom Inc.'s MTV music video channel," according to Bloomberg reports. from Zdnet

Worth $8bn with revenues estimated to be around $50m a year. Did I hear anyone say '3G Licences'? I say take the money and run kid, because mark my words, this bubble's going to burst within 12 months and you'll be kicking yourself. They may decide to go public which would be the beginning of the end really. All it takes is a battering in the markets for one major Web 2.0 player and the public are likely to stampede, much like they did in 2000.

One aspect of Web 2.0 that seems to get conveniently overlooked is that the sites mentioned above are all community driven. The huge sums involved in purchasing these sites is essentially to pay for someone's bright idea. Which is fair enough I suppose, some of those ideas are pretty smart and I certainly wish I'd had them. (Although back in 2000 I remember talking about movie rental downloads - which Lovefilm have just started doing. Damn you youthful apathy.) However, since all this content is user generated, shouldn't they get a slice of the pie? Hmm?

What if someone were to buy Wikipedia with it's millions of user written pages about Star Wars droids and it's constant disputes. Would it get divvyed up between all the contributors? Would it bollocks. Thankfully I think Wikipedia is safe, backed as it is by a charity, but if you've spent all day uploading videos to YouTube for the enjoyment of others, shouldn't you be rewarded for doing so? I reckon this might be the main cause for the bubble bursting, when you keep on giving and get nothing in return don't you eventually just give up?

Of course that's not even taking into account that the primary demographic for all this social networking Web 2.0 nonsense are aged 18-34, and have a notoriously short attention

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Scrooge hat on


I know I'm going to get a fair amount of stick for this, but I simply can not pass comment on this relatively recent phenomenon that occurs at this time of year. Charity Christmas eCards (the 'e' stands for electronic because if you put an 'e' in front of anything it suddenly makes it super dooper hi-tech and whizzy, like email (normal mail but slower and more junk), e-envoy (a government minister who makes sure that all government IT services are delivered late and over budget) and efood (food bought online that says I'm better than you - not to be confused with efamine, hunger caused by non-intensive arable farming to produce luxury organic goods for export).

But I digress. It's not that I'm opposed to charity, or I think cancer is great, I just find something slightly self satisfying about advertising charitable giving. Charity isn't about looking honourable, it's supposed to be an altruistic act. But it's become so fashionable to be a 'good' person - to recycle, only eat organic mung beans, drive hybrids (which in many cases pollute more) and so on. It's just another spoke in the modern day version of keeping up with the Jones'. That curiously English disease of oneupmanship of your peers.



Anyway, who really cares about Christmas cards? I'd much rather be bought a pint. Or a mince pie. Although that doesn't mean they're not gratefully received (you know who you are) but unless everyone you know is sending cards they just end up looking sad and lonely on the bookshelf. So please, keep your ecards, give money to charity, but don't shout about it like you want a reward or something.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Nørway

I'm getting quite excited now, the plans are starting to take shape. We'll be flying out on the 7th Feb to stay a couple of nights in Oslo before starting the journey north. It's not totally decided yet but the rough plan is to train it up to Trondheim, then on to Bodo and then bus the final leg to Tromsø. It should take a few days. We'll be flying back down from Tromsø on the 18th ;)

Things to do - stay in the Igloo hotel? go dog sledging? cross country skiing? go to Hammerfest because it's got a cool name? visit the northernmost point of Europe?

Most depressing Christmas present ever?

http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/global-warming-mug/index.html?CMP=EMC-MINIDEC1

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

DUKE TERRY

ATTN: SIR/MADAM,

PERMIT ME TO INFORM YOU OF MY DESIRE OF GOING INTO
BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. I GOT YOUR AND
CONTACT FROM THE EUROPEAN CHAMBER OF COMMERCE AND
INDUSTRY. I PRAYED OVER IT AND SELECTED YOUR NAME
AMONG OTHERS DUE TO IT´S ESTEEMING NATURE AND THE
RECOMMENDATIONS GIVEN TO ME AS A REPUTABLE AND TRUST
WORTHY PERSON I CAN CONFIDE ON AND BY THEIR
RECOMMENDATIONS I MUST NOT HESITATE TO CONFIDE IN YOU
FOR THIS SIMPLE AND SINCERE REQUEST.

I AM DUKE TERRY,A 22YEARS OLD BOY, THE ONLY SON OF LATE CHIEF AND MRS
CHRISTOPHER TERRY. MY FATHER WAS A VERY WEALTHY COCOA MERCHANT BASED IN
ABIDJAN, THE ECONOMIC CAPITAL OF IVORY COAST BEFORE HE WAS POISONED TO DEATH
BY HIS BUSINESS ASSOCIATES ON ONE OF THEIR EVENING OUTING TO DISCUSSON A
BUSINESS DEAL.

WHEN MY MOTHER DIED ON THE 1ST OCTOBER 1990, MY FATHER TOOK ME SO SPECIAL
BECAUSE I AM MOTHERLESS. BEFORE THE DEATH OF MY FATHER ON 24TH APRIL 2004,
IN A PRIVATE HOSPITAL IN ABIDJAN, HE SECRETLY CALLED ME ON HIS BED SIDE AND
TOLD ME THAT HE HAS A SUM OF US$7M (SEVEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS)
LEFT IN A BANK HERE IN EUROPE.

THAT HE USED MY NAME AS HIS ONLY SON FOR THE NEXT OF KIN IN DEPOSIT OF THE
FUND. HE ALSO EXPLAINED TO ME THAT IT
WAS BECAUSE OF THIS WEALTH THAT HE WAS POISONED BY HIS
BUSINESS ASSOCIATES, THAT I SHOULD SEEK FOR A FOREIGN
PARTNER IN A COUNTRY OF MY CHOICE WHERE I WILL
TRANSFER THIS MONEY AND USE IT FOR INVESTMENT PURPOSE.

FOR THIS SIMPLE REASON, I ARRANGED WITH A TRAVEL AGENT, WHO HELPED ME TO
TRAVEL TO EUROPE.

I AM HONOURABLY SEEKING YOUR ASSISTANCE IN THE FOLLOWING WAYS.
1) TO HELP ME RETRIEVE THIS FUND AND HELP PROVIDE A BANK ACCOUNT WHERE THIS
MONEY WOULD BE TRANSFERED INTO.
2) TO SERVE AS THE GUARDIAN OF THIS FUND AND ME
3) TO MAKE ARRANGEMENT FOR ME TO COME OVER TO YOUR
COUNTRY TO FURTHER MY EDUCATION AND TO SECURE A

MOREOVER, DEAR, I AM WILLING TO OFFER YOU 15% OF THE
TOTAL SUM AS COMPENSATION FOR YOUR EFFORT/INPUT AFTER
THE SUCCESSFUL TRANSFER OF THIS FUND TO YOUR NOMINATED
ACCOUNT OVERSEA. FURTHERMORE, YOU CAN INDICATE YOUR
OPTION TOWARDS ASSISTING ME AS I BELIEVE THAT THIS
TRANSACTION WOULD BE CONCLUDED WITHIN A SHORT TIME
YOU SIGNIFY INTEREST TO ASSIST ME.

ANTICIPATING HEARING FROM YOU SOON.

THANKS AND GOD BLESS.

EMAIL ME DIRECTLY ON duketerrypvt1@aim.com

BEST REGARD
DUKE TERRY


RESIDENTIAL PERMIT FOR ME IN YOUR COUNTRY.

MOREOVER, DEAR, I AM WILLING TO OFFER YOU 15% OF THE
TOTAL SUM AS COMPENSATION FOR YOUR EFFORT/INPUT AFTER
THE SUCCESSFUL TRANSFER OF THIS FUND TO YOUR NOMINATED
ACCOUNT OVERSEA. FURTHERMORE, YOU CAN INDICATE YOUR
OPTION TOWARDS ASSISTING ME AS I BELIEVE THAT THIS
TRANSACTION WOULD BE CONCLUDED WITHIN A SHORT TIME
YOU SIGNIFY INTEREST TO ASSIST ME.

ANTICIPATING HEARING FROM YOU SOON.

THANKS AND GOD BLESS.

EMAIL ME DIRECTLY ON duketerrypvt1@aim.com

BEST REGARD
DUKE TERRY

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Holiday

I've decided i'm going to Norway as soon as feasibly possible (end Jan, early Feb). I'm not entirely sure how or why I stumbled upon this conclusion, but Norway it is. I'm going to see the Northern Lights (weather permitting), to whom I have been unacquainted with since my teenage years. I'll be going here, still to decide how to get there. So if anyone wants to buy Alison and myself some pressies I think seriously warm clothing would be much appreciated. And a torch (it's in darkness until the end of January).

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Could do with a day off

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off was on Film4 yesterday. Sweet. I was going to say I'd forgotten how much it rules, but that would be a lie. I remember all the time how much it rules. And even in my youth I realised how true Ferris' words were. Just take some time to think about it now and again, mmkay?

In other news I just made an awesome gazpacho from possibly the best cookery book in the world. The Silver Spoon is so amazing it has recipes for animals I've never even heard of. I can't wait for lunch tomorrow. Is it wrong to be this excited about soup?

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Infestation! UPDATE

I cleaned out the whole cupboard and threw out all the food that was open. I thought at this stage it's better to contain the problem until the traps arrive so I left a few bits of pasta from the mice to chew on. Today I woke up and opened the cupboard, this is what I saw:


A few thoughts sprung to mind, firstly 'awww, how cute' to respect that they don't seem to be scared of me anymore - they just sat there - and then bemusement as I'm not really sure what to do now. Can I try sweeping them into a bag? Will they just scarper? Will my four traps be enough?

Any ideas anyone?

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Infestation!

First off, I tried to post this using Picasa but it turns out that you can't post from Picasa to Blogger in Beta. So bugger.

We have a problem. It's difficult to judge the size of the problem but I'd estimate it to be between 5 and 10cm. I'm talking about Mus musculus, the common house mouse. As if the scratching and squeaking from behind the oven weren't proof enough, they've now started shitting in my pasta cupboard and just last night on top of the microwave. What they were doing there I've absolutely no idea.

So, a shipment of mouse traps are on their way and today I'm scrubbing like mad the whole kitchen as I feel rather dirty. Lots of food is going to end up in the bin as I'm quite fearful of the myriad of diseases spread by these little bastards. I was thinking I might keep whatever mice turn up in the traps but I've now thought better of it, so I'll be releasing them into the wilds of Ally Pally Park to try their chances with the foxes and rapists.

I just opened the cupboard a few minutes ago and caught sight of one of them. It's certainly true what they say - they are more fearful of us then we are of them. And I'll give them good reason to be. Muahahaha.

Look, some shit.

Friday, November 24, 2006

I had to post this one.


From here. Thanks Rachel.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Moker's reminiscent stream of consciousness

I was 16, you were 15, Helen, kate, Tim, Claire Haylock, Berridge, Noonan, Bennett, Alex, Amy Cutts, Alston Works, john Sommerville, magic mushrooms, acid tabs, skunk, weed, matt mcKay, luke Williams, The Fifth columnist, Clerks, Turkey Johns, Tom arnold, Keith Mullett Malen, football on Christchurch fields, violence on Barnet high street, drinking in Totteridge cricket fields, being mugged, drinking in Barnet rugby fields, drinking during the week, drinking on the factory roof, vandalism, breaking and entering, burglary (NOT of Arnold's garage though), waterbombs, spooning out, self harming, enforced haircuts, YPF, kurt cobain dying, Nirvana unplugged, Glastonbury on TV for the first time, Beavis & butthead, Dr. dragos Madcap Chase, it's a new dead badger, QE boys, QE girls, the mound outside the spires, Benylin Death, Super Stongbow, crusties, house parties, Doc martins, curtain haircuts, Suede, metallica, The only Ones, Mudhoney, Dr hook and Neil young, Moosey anna, Squalid dump, Paulina, The white lion, french bangers, fire lighters, itchy belly, old man and slick rick, sitting at the back of the library... drinking, Phil arnold and the Wentworth crew, the empty garage at the top of Byng road, starting fire after fire, vans trainers, unwins, Barnet Co-op, Freddy headly, the hut in foulds school, the eggy caretaker, a huge p*ssed off bunch of neighbours, Teenage love (oh yeah) and "breaking the law" therapy cover.

(edited for spelling...)

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Yikes

I've got better things to do than hang out on Myspace but I know the same cannot be said for many of you. So be very careful out there if you're using Firefox as this vulnerability has just come out, with no fix as yet. It's so simple, it's genius. Websites like Myspace allow users to craft their own HTML into the webpage and this particular attack used a legitimate looking Myspace login form to steal your username and password - even though the form was getting posted to a completely different site.

There's the potential here for any website that allows users to craft pages with HTML. Not to mention the traditional phishing websites.

Personally I'm not going to stop letting Firefox save my passwords, but I shall be very careful until this is fixed.

I bet Microsoft are feeling pretty smug right now. Or maybe not...

Monday, November 13, 2006

Finally

The long wait is over and Alison can have her iPod back, I've just ordered a 60GB one of these. I figured I'd fill up a 30GB one pretty quickly so I've been biding my time until this was released. Now all I'll have to do is figure out how to get iTunes tracks onto it. I bet the software that comes with it is rubbish.

Monday, October 30, 2006

What's the difference

Between this and this?

Why did Google news give me a Telegraph headline?

Where do I begin with this?

Unknown to many, the provisions of 300-year-old laws that still govern copyright in the UK have the effect of making it illegal to "burn" tracks from compact discs on to a computer or digital music player.

Right, you don't 'burn' from a CD, you rip, you uneducated, trying to be down-with-the-kids fuckwits. A 300 year old law says it's illegal? Is that like the laws that say you have to practice archery once a week and can kill a Welshman on a Sunday in Chester? So basically pointless fucking laws that no one's been bothered to get removed from the statute book because they're not enforced. What a fucking non-story.

Labour MP Oona King said she downloaded more than 200 songs from her CD collection on to her iPod.

She may have said that, but I'm more inclined to think it was the Telegraph who thinks you can 'download' something from a CD....

Anyway, it's just pure scaremongering bollocks the lot of it. This area of copyright law is notoriously tricky and unproven in many aspects. Fair use policy exists in the US, although the RIAA is trying to skirt around it, but even if this isn't in law in the UK I'm reasonably sure that any judge in their right mind would throw out any kind of prosecution for this activity as a complete waste of time. There's even a quote in the article from John Whittingdale (chairman of the culture, media and sport select committee inquiry into digital copyright - whatever that is) -

"The music industry has said it has no intention of prosecuting anyone for transferring music they have bought on to their digital music players."

Right, so what's the point of the article then?

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Oh. My. God.

I was listening to XFM earlier and they were playing a song I hadn't heard before. I thought, 'hey, this sounds pretty good - what is it?'

Turns out it was Damian Fucking Rice.

Gaaaahh.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Horizon

I didn't get a chance to watch it the other day (far too busy socialising) but this pretty much sums up what happens when people who don't know what they're talking about are left in charge of TV.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Oh my god they're out to get us!

I've swum with stingrays and they never seemed like vicious animals, but I don't know these days....

Angry

Monday, October 16, 2006

Changes are a foot

I'd forgotton how great jelly was until I made some yesterday. Fucking smashing it is, and surprisingly refreshing.

Anyway, in what must be a record we're being restructured at work for the second time in under 3 weeks. Nice. Or as Jamie would say 'who gives a fuck about your pathetic, worthless, corporate slave shenanigans?'. Although I do categorically say I've never actually heard him use the word 'shenanigans'.

But I could care less as well. Most of you already know that like a disheartened rat fleeing the fetid, sinking hull of obese consumerism and wage slavery I shall be vacating these once fair shores. Sometime in the not too distant future I shall be escaping an endless stream of above inflation price rises, council tax to pay for an Olympic games I don't want, one sodding water main burst after another and a general quality of life that is held up to be the best in the world, by everyone but those who experience it. I don't believe that going to Australia is going to be the panacea that will inspire me to continue on this great quest that we call life, but I do know that rotting away in London will most certainly do the opposite. Plus I'm planning on being out of work for at least a year, so I'll have plenty of time to sit around and think about what's important to me, and maybe even decide on a new career path. There are plenty of jobs that I would like to do, but corporate monkey is no longer one of them.

I set out into the world of work to prove to myself that I could be successful. By my own measure (and that is all that matters) I've done that, and got myself a flat to boot. But I grow weary of the shallow satisfaction that comes with a decent wage and some degree of responsibility in a faceless corporate entity. Sure, within my company what I do is considered important, but to anyone outside it? I think not. My departing managing director told me that he thought I had the best IT job in the company, and I think he's probably right, but it's only a job. And that alone is not enough to satisfy me anymore.

And so the plan is to do up the flat, sell it for a tidy (or tiny) profit (my neighbour's just put his identical, but well finished flat on the market for £60k more than I paid) and make the journey to the land down under, possibly going around Europe first for a month. Certainly I hope to be over there by this time next year. Either that or a millionaire aye Rodney...

Unveiled

This whole veil business is getting a bit out of hand isn't it?

I say people should be able to wear whatever they want but don't expect others not to make judgements about you because of it. And that includes making them uncomfortable.

But if you can't do your job because of it, then you have to choose between the offending article or your job.

Sounds pretty simple huh? And no, I'm not just talking about veils. I'm sure someone will spot something in this which means I must be a big ol' misogynist.

History

I went to see the History Boys last night. It was ok. There were some enjoyable moments, but something about it just didn't sit right with me. Why did these guys want to go to Oxford, and why was it just assumed that they did? I thought it was lazy not to explore that and the only revelation came at the end with Rudge declaring that he didn't really give a stuff. At last, there's a human being amongst them. Dakin was a great character but all in all it was very forced, very contrite, very theatrical and terribly pretentious. It didn't translate to film at all. They may as well have set up a camera to record one of the Broadway performances and saved themselves some time and effort. In a theatre you can suspend reality and they'd probably get away with it, but the same cannot be said for film. Alan Bennett's a playwright, not a screenwriter so you can't really blame him, but still. Let's just please not continue with this trend of turning plays into films, or the other way around. I should have seen Children of Men instead.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Some band

I like that my brother's band are getting nice reviews, but I'm still waiting for one that doesn't mention Sonic Youth...
 
I may have to go see them again sometime, but there's not really enough acoustic guitar and too many pedals for my liking. Hang on, didn't they slag off the Purple Turtle as a venue that was 'beneath' them?

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Ahh Saturday

I know I haven't written much lately, but don't expect something meaningful from me today. There's a ton of things I'd like to blog about, but I just can't get motivated. Hence I've spent all of saturday so far looking for a free download of Settlers II, and whilst doing so came across a haven of retrogaming heaven. Try out these sites:

http://www.xtcabandonware.com/ - real old games, mostly unplayable and make you wonder why you thought they were so great in the first place.
http://www.classic-gaming.net - some pretty decent stuff here
http://www.the-underdogs.info/ - they used to have Doctor Drago's Madcap Chase on this, but I can't seem to find it anymore.

Anyway, back to Dizzy.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Extras yesterday

Possibly the funniest thing I've seen in a long while.

Well I wouldn't want you to trail through the ultimate blog post discussion ever

I said something in this that implied I might have a party some time around early October. Thoughts, suggestions?

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Escape from work

New book out this month, on my Amazon wish list already.

More free crap foisted upon us that we don't need or want

This article expresses my hatred of the sudden explosion of shitty free papers that Londoners have to put up with more eloquently than I could.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Choices

I'm working from home today, reviewing a stack of new security standards (lots of really fun stuff like infrastructure firewalls, IDS, vulnerability scanning..... yawn) and I am slowly getting through them but my concentration span has faded out to next to nothing at the moment. I'm also finding it hard to articulate, resulting in me shouting at the computer a few times. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I'm just too distracted right now. It's always sad when someone dies, even more so when you really respect and admire what they do and the type of person they are. I'm talking, of course, about Steve Irwin, whose death was all the more tragic by the bizarre circumstances in which he died. He was a passionate environmentalist and conservationist, and though his on-screen persona was far removed from many traditional wildlife presenters, I believe it was more effective in getting the message across to a wide audience than any of his contemporaries.
 
Ray Mears, another semi-hero of mine stuck the knife in slightly when the news was announced, but then I imagine there's a fair amount of rivalry between wildlife presenters and with all due respect, the most Ray has to put up with in his TV shows is the threat of dehydration and starting a fire with wet bark. You can't really compare it to coming face to face with saltwater crocodiles or the largest snakes in the world. His shows are interesting, but in a different way.
 
Anyway, I'm drifting off the point here. Steve Irwin clearly loved his life and what he did. He knew what he wanted to do with his life and enjoyed every minute of it. For that, if nothing else, he should be given the utmost respect. He probably did more in a week than most of us will do in a lifetime and this is what's keeping me awake at night. I feel like I'm waiting for my life to start, just going along with the current until I discover what it is that I want to be doing with it. But I'm getting tired of waiting to find out what that is. Maybe I need to be looking harder?
 
I spent the last couple of days in Geneva, chairing a variety of meetings with various people from around the world and it struck me that if I continue down this route I could probably become quite successful in the company I work in, and perhaps lead the jetset lifestyle that many of my colleagues think I already have. I could become well-respected and earn a lot of money. But it's really hard work (I was basically non-stop from 4am Monday to 11pm Tuesday) and I'm not sure if it's actually going to make me happy. Ok, it's challenging and interesting, and I like that - but is that enough? I'm starting to feel that I'm getting close to the point where I either accept that this is what I'm going to do with my life, or I turn around and do something completely different.

Philips SHE9600 headphones

I bought some of these to replace my rapidly falling apart Sony Fontopia headphones. They're shit. Shit is not a strong enough word to describe how bad these things are. They're like shit that's been force fed to you while you're sleeping. Like putting on a suit made entirely out of shit and sitting through a full day of meetings, the shit slowly sliding off your sweating, stinking body as your perspire under the weight of all that shit.

The headphones themselves are ok but the straps and cabling seem to have been designed by an engineer just thrown off the project to build a new suspension bridge across the Bristol Channel. Apparently they're 'neckstrap' headphones - not being down with the kids, I didn't realise that this meant wearing them will make you look like a fucking chimp. Or this woman:

Well that's 30 quid down the drain then. Who wants to dangle their iPod round their neck? Well, these guys probably would.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Quite hilarious

By careful with your iPods out there kids.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Too good not to post

But I need to learn how to sort out red eye.

 Posted by Picasa

Difficult

You know I've always been of the impression that the difficult part of relationships should be the whole finding someone you like, who likes you. But once you've found them life is supposed to be easy, you both presumably have things in common and things you like about each other, so why wouldn't it be? This is how friendships work so why should relationships be any different?
 
Is it that people that don't actually get along that well stay together after they hit it off because they're scared of not finding anyone else?

Headaches

For the past month or two I've been waking up with a headache most mornings. Obviously in my head this means I've got a brain tumour, but in all likelihood that's probably not the cause. It's not like a major pain, but short, sharp pains every now and again.

I've lost faith in doctors because every time I go there they tell me exactly what the internet does. So by the power of the internet I've been doing a bit of digging and most sources point to the likely causes as:
  • Depression or anxiety linked
  • Withdrawal from pain medication
  • Caffeine withdrawal
  • High blood pressure (I definitely don't have this)
  • Sleep disorders (not that I know of)
So ironically the painkillers I take when the headaches get bad could be contributing to the whole problem. In actual fact, I know that taking too many painkillers has a detrimental impact in the long term as the body's natural painkillers (endorphins and enkaphalins) cease to function as affectively when other painkilling chemicals are introduced into the body, because these introduced chemicals take over the painkilling role. So, like muscles, they waste away from lack of use.

Also, did you know that between 4 and 8am these natural painkillers are at their least effective, so any pains would be magnified?

So the plan is:
  1. Chill out more - I know, easier said than done
  2. NO CAFFEINE - that's gonna be tricky
  3. No more painkillers

If this fails then I'll go see the quack.

Thing is, I'm pretty sure as well that sitting in front of a computer all day also has an impact, but what am I supposed to do about that?

Three-fanged monster

 Posted by Picasa

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Enough is enough

I have had it with these muthafuckin' snakes on this muthafuckin' train!

Friday, August 25, 2006

Thursday, August 24, 2006

RRRAAAAWWWWWKKKKKK!

 Posted by Picasa

Ed Vald of Death Metal



Look who we bumped into at the Eagles of Death Metal (RRRAAAAAWKKKKKKK!) yesterday. Posted by Picasa

the power of the internets

http://networks.silicon.com/webwatch/0,39024667,39161743,00.htm

If there's something that exists in digital form, you can bet it's on the internet somewhere.

Plane turns back

A plane from Holland to India had to turn back because people were behaving 'suspiciously'. These days that means that some Indians were speaking Indian whilst on their journey to India. Jeez, the cheek of some people, getting on an American plane and scaring people by being Indian.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Holy crap

10 months for killing her husband with an axe. Now that is a fucking disgrace. People are always moaning about lenient sentences but I can't see any justification for this one at all. He didn't abuse her. It was in cold blood. She hit him 11 times with an axe.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Pah

Some woman got a mention in the Metro today just because she's travelling to Australia, but not by air. What a crock. That was my idea (inasmuch as it was floating around in my head but I hadn't told anyone yet). What I'd like to do is go around the world by land and sea - going all through Europe, east across Russia, down through Beijing and Indonesia, Papua New Guinea and then circle Australia, head over to South America, go up the west coast (via the Galapagos of course), through Central America then the USA and Canada, before catching a boat back to Blighty from the east coast of Canada. Means I have to go through the French part though, yuk.

I don't have any particular aversion to air travel, I fly often enough that I tend to forget about worrying about plane crashes, but I feel that you do really miss out on the whole aspect of distance and just how far you've gone from where you started. Plus it's bad for the environment, yadda yadda yadda.

It'll probably never happen, or I'll maybe only do a part of it, but still - IT WAS MY IDEA FIRST. Or perhaps Michael Palin's.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Shits and Giggles

This guy has just been suspended from his job at Orange over this article for some right wing website. It's actually pretty damn hilarious in a Jeremy Clarkson kind of way.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

They only answer what they want to answer don't they?

I wanted to wait for a response from Haringey before posting this. I'm amazed I got a response, I never have in the past. But you'll see I'm not retracting any of my opinions. Besides, they're not really opinions - I like to call them FACTS. All formatting of email is 100% accurate. Actually it's not - blogger wouldn't let me post Haringey's mangled response so I had to clean it up....


Will to Customer.Services@haringey.gov.uk
06-Aug
To whom it may concern,

Please can you address the badly constructed pelican crossing at the corner of Priory Road and Park Road? It is not possible to see whether the green man is lit or not as someone has put a visor (?) over it, that faces downwards - so you cannot see it from the otherside of the road. This is incredibly dangerous and it's only a matter of time before someone gets hit by a car there.

In actual fact that whole junction is dangerous - it really needs to either be redesigned (what's wrong with a simple crossroads?) or re-signposted because the frequency of drivers honking their horns is almost unbearable for a local resident such as myself. There seem to be incidents of road rage at this junction occuring frequently.

thanks, Will



Will to Customer.Services@haringey.gov.uk
10:25 (12 hours ago)

Of course I didn't expect for one moment to get a reply from Haringey Council, after all, I'm just a lowly resident who pays an absolute fortune in council tax, and you're all too busy wasting my money on failed IT projects and shoddy contracts to respond to me.

What exactly if the point of providing an email address if no one looks at it, or replies to it?

Either way, can you sort out this pelican crossing because sooner or later someone is going to be KILLED on it. And when they do I'll go straight to the papers with yet another example of dangerous actions by Haringey Council staff.

thanks.

ps. When's my rubbish getting picked up? And why did you post LIES on your homepage - namely that Haringey Accord would be providing contingency services, when their own website said they'd be doing nothing of the sort, and services would be completed suspended until the strikers returned to work.


customer.services@haringey.gov.uk
to Streetscene.St., me
18:22 (4 hours ago)
Enquiry Ref: 2-4863005 Dear Mr Webster, Thank you for your enquiry. With regards to your enquiry I have forwarded your email to the Highways StreetScene team who will investigate the problem and notify you of the progress. Haringey Accord started the clear up on 14 August. Crews have almost completed Monday’s collection rounds which should be completed by 16 August and will start on Tuesday’s collections on 16 August as well. Accord has put on 2 additional vehicles to help out with the clear up and staff will be working on Saturday to catch up. The message to residents is that the clear up will take two weeks and the intention is to clear waste on normal collection days wherever possible. We will keep residents updated through the Accord call centre and our website. In the meantime, the Council ask that residents recycle as much of their waste as possible by either using the doorstep service, bring banks or the Reuse and Recycle centres. The Reuse and Recycle Centres are located on Park View Road, N17 and just off Hornsey High Street, N8. The opening hours of the Reuse and Recycle Centres are 7am 7pm (every day). The hours have been extended for the duration of the strike. For waste that can’t be recycled, please bag this securely and store in/around your bin. The Council are reviewing this matter on a daily basis and are working to find suitable refuse collection solutions to minimise disruption. Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience caused. However if you would like to take the matter further you can either email the Environment Complaints Department environment.complaints@haringey.gov.uk or complete the online form using the link below www.eforms.secure.haringey.gov.uk/ufs/BrowserCheck;jsessionid=7D2D469B33037468E10C970E6DECB6CA?esessionid=1 If you have any further queries, please do not hesitate to contact us. Regards Tarek Sahebdin Customer Services



99% of their response is to my p.s. about the rubbish situation. See. Idiots. I'm surrounded by idiots. I give up.

Strike Strike Strike

Lots of talk about strikes on the tube and buses again. This time I wholeheartedly support any strike action, be it about pay and conditions or that Bob Crow's whipping boy got fired for freebasing whilst driving a bus full of crack whores into a crowd of babies. The reason being that I'd much rather be working from home where I don't have to deal with any of you people than get on a bus or tube driven by someone with a lower IQ than my rapidly dying* catnip plant.


* through cat consumption

You don’t have to be an ingrate to work here, but it helps

Take a look around you and you might spot one. From that bus driver who can’t find first gear to get up a hill, to that dawdling girl getting in your way on a tube platform, texting while she walks, head bowed oblivious to the inconvenience she’s causing to others. To the man sitting in traffic, honking his horn, or the shop assistant chattin’ wiv er bruv like this innit. Idiots. Everywhere. I’m surrounded by morons of the highest order. You Heat-magazine reading, text message speaking, Big Brother watching fuckers. I’m drowning in a sea of ineptitude, struggling for breath in a quagmire of annoying ringtones and low-budget, reality TV. You’re useless, the whole fucking lot of you.

I had to call our IT Helpdesk on Thursday to explain about a problem. I told them what the problem was, and how to fix it, in s-l-o-w and clear English. What do they do? Go and fuck it up some more by doing something completely different. So I have to call back Friday, and repeat the whole process because whoever I spoke to the day before had obviously had enough of the dead-end job of helpdesk monkey, and got a more valued position in McDonalds. I have to do the same thing on Monday, and on Tuesday, until it’s finally resolved. It was a 5 minute job by the way. Something I could have quite easily done myself if all our IT support hadn’t been outsourced to the lowest bidder.

Our rubbish is piling up because Haringey bin men are on strike. That’s right, I called them BIN MEN, deal with it. Of course it’s nothing to do with Haringey Council, they just run the fucking borough. No, it was outsourced to Haringey Accord, whose name leads me to believe they’d struggle to find work in say, Barnet or Camden. Anyway, Haringey Council put up a statement to say that a) nothing to do with them and b) Haringey Accord will be putting in place contingency plans.

However, you look at Haringey Accord’s website and they say service will not be resumed until the strike is over.

So there you have it. Haringey Council = Bunch of lying shysters.

Although I think the strike’s over now, but that’s not the fucking point.

I emailed the council (when will I learn) about a dangerous pelican crossing – I’m doing my whole ‘angry from Muswell Hill’ act. Do I get a reply? Do they fix it? Have a wild guess.

I know that I need to learn to drive sometime soon, it’s getting embarrassing when I meet anyone who isn’t from London. So I go to the DVLA site where you can now apply online. Hurrah! The power of the internets. I get half way through and the thing fucking times out. Argghhhhhh. Ok, maybe it was something to do with my work network, so I try on a laptop – I get 3 questions into it and it times out again. Holy-sweet-mother-of-jesus. Do people not test these things? Of course they do, they call Dave over who’s just finished mending the coffee machine to give it the once over before inflicting it on an unsuspecting public.



Oh well, all I need to do is find the technical contact details and email them…. 3 hours later I use a standard contact form and tell them they should stop working in the public sector and get a job in psychological testing as my brain is mush after this mindfuck of a website.

Has the whole world gone absolutely fucking crazy?

And don’t even get me started on Israel and Hezbollah. You’re both big winners now aren’t you? What exactly did that achieve again?

Beard

http://tinyurl.com/mjgax

2 men jumped overboard aye?

More like they took a cue from these guys.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

As if there were any doubts.

"Men reported being successful when trying to make women laugh 71% of the time, compared to a lowly 39% success rate for women trying to make men laugh."

Friday, August 11, 2006

6 days and long lunch on Sunday

This makes sobering reading.

How can a country full of people who believe in the fairy tales of creationism be allowed to have such a major influence on the rest of the world?

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Well no one's been blown out of the sky yet

But spare a thought for the poor penguins. Won't someone please think of the penguins?

Smoothie

I've always like Innocent drinks, mainly for their yummy smoothies, but also for their sense of humour - this from their jobs section:


I was at Fruitstock at the weekend as well, which was pretty good.

Cue Jamie - "why would you pay £1.80 for a healthy no-additive fruit drink when you can buy a can of nourishment made out of dog's arses for only 30p. £2.70 for a Pret Chicken sandwich?! Who wants 100% breast meat, farm assured, phosphate free chicken? Not me. Bring on the 99p Asda chicken beak sarnie. Stop being so bloody middle class" etc.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Bunking off

Did anyone ever expect these people to be good parents after what they named their daughter?

Thursday, August 03, 2006

look

I finally relented and got a flickr account. Here.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Cat under a hot tin bath

I did promise...

Thames Water Shitehawks

It made me laugh that a burst water main impacted the Big Brother house. It's the soundtrack to this summer, burst water mains a-go-go from our shitty water supply company. What their multi-million pound advertising campaign (with the pictures of Battersea Power station, Tower of London, GLA building, etc "We'll be saving this much water every day") don't tell us is that they're currently losing this much water every day. They've placed the emphasis on what great things they'll be doing in the future, rather than say sorry for the mess they've got us into. Apparently, if they continue at the current rate it'll take something like 250 years to replace all the potentially leaky pipes in London.

This is what the Finsbury Park area looked like last week - flooded again by Thames Water. It meant the whole bus garage was closed for a few days.




The Dublin Castle

What kind of self-important mentalist checks their blackberry while watching a gig at the Dublin Castle?
 

Anyway, it was a good night. The Vert were particularly pleasing, sounding a bit like Death from Above 1979 and a bit like Holy Fuck. Paul from Maximo Park was in attendance, looking strangely identical to this. Apparently he was there to see Dead Disco, god knows why because they were utter shit. More generic shouty 'look, aren't we fashionable right now' girls playing poppy punk whilst wearing stripey tops. Quad Riot were alright, but just alright. I expect to be abused for that last comment.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006