Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Quite hilarious

By careful with your iPods out there kids.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Too good not to post

But I need to learn how to sort out red eye.

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Difficult

You know I've always been of the impression that the difficult part of relationships should be the whole finding someone you like, who likes you. But once you've found them life is supposed to be easy, you both presumably have things in common and things you like about each other, so why wouldn't it be? This is how friendships work so why should relationships be any different?
 
Is it that people that don't actually get along that well stay together after they hit it off because they're scared of not finding anyone else?

Headaches

For the past month or two I've been waking up with a headache most mornings. Obviously in my head this means I've got a brain tumour, but in all likelihood that's probably not the cause. It's not like a major pain, but short, sharp pains every now and again.

I've lost faith in doctors because every time I go there they tell me exactly what the internet does. So by the power of the internet I've been doing a bit of digging and most sources point to the likely causes as:
  • Depression or anxiety linked
  • Withdrawal from pain medication
  • Caffeine withdrawal
  • High blood pressure (I definitely don't have this)
  • Sleep disorders (not that I know of)
So ironically the painkillers I take when the headaches get bad could be contributing to the whole problem. In actual fact, I know that taking too many painkillers has a detrimental impact in the long term as the body's natural painkillers (endorphins and enkaphalins) cease to function as affectively when other painkilling chemicals are introduced into the body, because these introduced chemicals take over the painkilling role. So, like muscles, they waste away from lack of use.

Also, did you know that between 4 and 8am these natural painkillers are at their least effective, so any pains would be magnified?

So the plan is:
  1. Chill out more - I know, easier said than done
  2. NO CAFFEINE - that's gonna be tricky
  3. No more painkillers

If this fails then I'll go see the quack.

Thing is, I'm pretty sure as well that sitting in front of a computer all day also has an impact, but what am I supposed to do about that?

Three-fanged monster

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Saturday, August 26, 2006

Enough is enough

I have had it with these muthafuckin' snakes on this muthafuckin' train!

Friday, August 25, 2006

Thursday, August 24, 2006

RRRAAAAWWWWWKKKKKK!

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Ed Vald of Death Metal



Look who we bumped into at the Eagles of Death Metal (RRRAAAAAWKKKKKKK!) yesterday. Posted by Picasa

the power of the internets

http://networks.silicon.com/webwatch/0,39024667,39161743,00.htm

If there's something that exists in digital form, you can bet it's on the internet somewhere.

Plane turns back

A plane from Holland to India had to turn back because people were behaving 'suspiciously'. These days that means that some Indians were speaking Indian whilst on their journey to India. Jeez, the cheek of some people, getting on an American plane and scaring people by being Indian.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Holy crap

10 months for killing her husband with an axe. Now that is a fucking disgrace. People are always moaning about lenient sentences but I can't see any justification for this one at all. He didn't abuse her. It was in cold blood. She hit him 11 times with an axe.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Pah

Some woman got a mention in the Metro today just because she's travelling to Australia, but not by air. What a crock. That was my idea (inasmuch as it was floating around in my head but I hadn't told anyone yet). What I'd like to do is go around the world by land and sea - going all through Europe, east across Russia, down through Beijing and Indonesia, Papua New Guinea and then circle Australia, head over to South America, go up the west coast (via the Galapagos of course), through Central America then the USA and Canada, before catching a boat back to Blighty from the east coast of Canada. Means I have to go through the French part though, yuk.

I don't have any particular aversion to air travel, I fly often enough that I tend to forget about worrying about plane crashes, but I feel that you do really miss out on the whole aspect of distance and just how far you've gone from where you started. Plus it's bad for the environment, yadda yadda yadda.

It'll probably never happen, or I'll maybe only do a part of it, but still - IT WAS MY IDEA FIRST. Or perhaps Michael Palin's.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Shits and Giggles

This guy has just been suspended from his job at Orange over this article for some right wing website. It's actually pretty damn hilarious in a Jeremy Clarkson kind of way.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

They only answer what they want to answer don't they?

I wanted to wait for a response from Haringey before posting this. I'm amazed I got a response, I never have in the past. But you'll see I'm not retracting any of my opinions. Besides, they're not really opinions - I like to call them FACTS. All formatting of email is 100% accurate. Actually it's not - blogger wouldn't let me post Haringey's mangled response so I had to clean it up....


Will to Customer.Services@haringey.gov.uk
06-Aug
To whom it may concern,

Please can you address the badly constructed pelican crossing at the corner of Priory Road and Park Road? It is not possible to see whether the green man is lit or not as someone has put a visor (?) over it, that faces downwards - so you cannot see it from the otherside of the road. This is incredibly dangerous and it's only a matter of time before someone gets hit by a car there.

In actual fact that whole junction is dangerous - it really needs to either be redesigned (what's wrong with a simple crossroads?) or re-signposted because the frequency of drivers honking their horns is almost unbearable for a local resident such as myself. There seem to be incidents of road rage at this junction occuring frequently.

thanks, Will



Will to Customer.Services@haringey.gov.uk
10:25 (12 hours ago)

Of course I didn't expect for one moment to get a reply from Haringey Council, after all, I'm just a lowly resident who pays an absolute fortune in council tax, and you're all too busy wasting my money on failed IT projects and shoddy contracts to respond to me.

What exactly if the point of providing an email address if no one looks at it, or replies to it?

Either way, can you sort out this pelican crossing because sooner or later someone is going to be KILLED on it. And when they do I'll go straight to the papers with yet another example of dangerous actions by Haringey Council staff.

thanks.

ps. When's my rubbish getting picked up? And why did you post LIES on your homepage - namely that Haringey Accord would be providing contingency services, when their own website said they'd be doing nothing of the sort, and services would be completed suspended until the strikers returned to work.


customer.services@haringey.gov.uk
to Streetscene.St., me
18:22 (4 hours ago)
Enquiry Ref: 2-4863005 Dear Mr Webster, Thank you for your enquiry. With regards to your enquiry I have forwarded your email to the Highways StreetScene team who will investigate the problem and notify you of the progress. Haringey Accord started the clear up on 14 August. Crews have almost completed Monday’s collection rounds which should be completed by 16 August and will start on Tuesday’s collections on 16 August as well. Accord has put on 2 additional vehicles to help out with the clear up and staff will be working on Saturday to catch up. The message to residents is that the clear up will take two weeks and the intention is to clear waste on normal collection days wherever possible. We will keep residents updated through the Accord call centre and our website. In the meantime, the Council ask that residents recycle as much of their waste as possible by either using the doorstep service, bring banks or the Reuse and Recycle centres. The Reuse and Recycle Centres are located on Park View Road, N17 and just off Hornsey High Street, N8. The opening hours of the Reuse and Recycle Centres are 7am 7pm (every day). The hours have been extended for the duration of the strike. For waste that can’t be recycled, please bag this securely and store in/around your bin. The Council are reviewing this matter on a daily basis and are working to find suitable refuse collection solutions to minimise disruption. Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience caused. However if you would like to take the matter further you can either email the Environment Complaints Department environment.complaints@haringey.gov.uk or complete the online form using the link below www.eforms.secure.haringey.gov.uk/ufs/BrowserCheck;jsessionid=7D2D469B33037468E10C970E6DECB6CA?esessionid=1 If you have any further queries, please do not hesitate to contact us. Regards Tarek Sahebdin Customer Services



99% of their response is to my p.s. about the rubbish situation. See. Idiots. I'm surrounded by idiots. I give up.

Strike Strike Strike

Lots of talk about strikes on the tube and buses again. This time I wholeheartedly support any strike action, be it about pay and conditions or that Bob Crow's whipping boy got fired for freebasing whilst driving a bus full of crack whores into a crowd of babies. The reason being that I'd much rather be working from home where I don't have to deal with any of you people than get on a bus or tube driven by someone with a lower IQ than my rapidly dying* catnip plant.


* through cat consumption

You don’t have to be an ingrate to work here, but it helps

Take a look around you and you might spot one. From that bus driver who can’t find first gear to get up a hill, to that dawdling girl getting in your way on a tube platform, texting while she walks, head bowed oblivious to the inconvenience she’s causing to others. To the man sitting in traffic, honking his horn, or the shop assistant chattin’ wiv er bruv like this innit. Idiots. Everywhere. I’m surrounded by morons of the highest order. You Heat-magazine reading, text message speaking, Big Brother watching fuckers. I’m drowning in a sea of ineptitude, struggling for breath in a quagmire of annoying ringtones and low-budget, reality TV. You’re useless, the whole fucking lot of you.

I had to call our IT Helpdesk on Thursday to explain about a problem. I told them what the problem was, and how to fix it, in s-l-o-w and clear English. What do they do? Go and fuck it up some more by doing something completely different. So I have to call back Friday, and repeat the whole process because whoever I spoke to the day before had obviously had enough of the dead-end job of helpdesk monkey, and got a more valued position in McDonalds. I have to do the same thing on Monday, and on Tuesday, until it’s finally resolved. It was a 5 minute job by the way. Something I could have quite easily done myself if all our IT support hadn’t been outsourced to the lowest bidder.

Our rubbish is piling up because Haringey bin men are on strike. That’s right, I called them BIN MEN, deal with it. Of course it’s nothing to do with Haringey Council, they just run the fucking borough. No, it was outsourced to Haringey Accord, whose name leads me to believe they’d struggle to find work in say, Barnet or Camden. Anyway, Haringey Council put up a statement to say that a) nothing to do with them and b) Haringey Accord will be putting in place contingency plans.

However, you look at Haringey Accord’s website and they say service will not be resumed until the strike is over.

So there you have it. Haringey Council = Bunch of lying shysters.

Although I think the strike’s over now, but that’s not the fucking point.

I emailed the council (when will I learn) about a dangerous pelican crossing – I’m doing my whole ‘angry from Muswell Hill’ act. Do I get a reply? Do they fix it? Have a wild guess.

I know that I need to learn to drive sometime soon, it’s getting embarrassing when I meet anyone who isn’t from London. So I go to the DVLA site where you can now apply online. Hurrah! The power of the internets. I get half way through and the thing fucking times out. Argghhhhhh. Ok, maybe it was something to do with my work network, so I try on a laptop – I get 3 questions into it and it times out again. Holy-sweet-mother-of-jesus. Do people not test these things? Of course they do, they call Dave over who’s just finished mending the coffee machine to give it the once over before inflicting it on an unsuspecting public.



Oh well, all I need to do is find the technical contact details and email them…. 3 hours later I use a standard contact form and tell them they should stop working in the public sector and get a job in psychological testing as my brain is mush after this mindfuck of a website.

Has the whole world gone absolutely fucking crazy?

And don’t even get me started on Israel and Hezbollah. You’re both big winners now aren’t you? What exactly did that achieve again?

Beard

http://tinyurl.com/mjgax

2 men jumped overboard aye?

More like they took a cue from these guys.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

As if there were any doubts.

"Men reported being successful when trying to make women laugh 71% of the time, compared to a lowly 39% success rate for women trying to make men laugh."

Friday, August 11, 2006

6 days and long lunch on Sunday

This makes sobering reading.

How can a country full of people who believe in the fairy tales of creationism be allowed to have such a major influence on the rest of the world?

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Well no one's been blown out of the sky yet

But spare a thought for the poor penguins. Won't someone please think of the penguins?

Smoothie

I've always like Innocent drinks, mainly for their yummy smoothies, but also for their sense of humour - this from their jobs section:


I was at Fruitstock at the weekend as well, which was pretty good.

Cue Jamie - "why would you pay £1.80 for a healthy no-additive fruit drink when you can buy a can of nourishment made out of dog's arses for only 30p. £2.70 for a Pret Chicken sandwich?! Who wants 100% breast meat, farm assured, phosphate free chicken? Not me. Bring on the 99p Asda chicken beak sarnie. Stop being so bloody middle class" etc.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Bunking off

Did anyone ever expect these people to be good parents after what they named their daughter?

Thursday, August 03, 2006

look

I finally relented and got a flickr account. Here.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Cat under a hot tin bath

I did promise...

Thames Water Shitehawks

It made me laugh that a burst water main impacted the Big Brother house. It's the soundtrack to this summer, burst water mains a-go-go from our shitty water supply company. What their multi-million pound advertising campaign (with the pictures of Battersea Power station, Tower of London, GLA building, etc "We'll be saving this much water every day") don't tell us is that they're currently losing this much water every day. They've placed the emphasis on what great things they'll be doing in the future, rather than say sorry for the mess they've got us into. Apparently, if they continue at the current rate it'll take something like 250 years to replace all the potentially leaky pipes in London.

This is what the Finsbury Park area looked like last week - flooded again by Thames Water. It meant the whole bus garage was closed for a few days.




The Dublin Castle

What kind of self-important mentalist checks their blackberry while watching a gig at the Dublin Castle?
 

Anyway, it was a good night. The Vert were particularly pleasing, sounding a bit like Death from Above 1979 and a bit like Holy Fuck. Paul from Maximo Park was in attendance, looking strangely identical to this. Apparently he was there to see Dead Disco, god knows why because they were utter shit. More generic shouty 'look, aren't we fashionable right now' girls playing poppy punk whilst wearing stripey tops. Quad Riot were alright, but just alright. I expect to be abused for that last comment.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006