Monday, December 24, 2007

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

Ok, so here are my ups and downs of the year. Let's start with the bad and finish with the good, the way I like to eat meals.
  1. Messy break up and domestic situation with the ex. Though it has taught me to trust my instincts more.
  2. Having to go to Dubai for 4 days and hating every minute. I think my mind at the time, my role in being there and the environment really disagreed with each other.
  3. Mice in the kitchen.
  4. The realisation that I haven't really moved forward in my life in any meaningful way this year, even though I started it with grand ideas.
  5. Err...having to sleep in a minging couchette with a couple of fragrant Italians on the way to Greece? No I don't think that counts. It's actually not been a bad year at all.
The good stuff:
  1. Meeting the current girlfriend. I'm deliriously happy. And I've learnt a simple truth about love - that if it's real they want you as you are.
  2. Dog-sledding under the Northern Lights in Norway. A real once in a lifetime memory. Awesome.
  3. I'm going to put my recent promotion in here even though I might get a bit of stick (work isn't everything after all) because a) I like getting more money (company car anyone?) and b) I'm not entirely sure what it means yet and where I fit into the new world at work. So the new year will start on a positive note, with new opportunities. I've already been invited to have a look around one of our offices - just to familiarise myself with the set up.
  4. My break away from life, the universe and everything on a remote Greek island. If you want your head sorting out, I can heartily recommend it.
  5. Realising that I actually like myself. I may be a bit lumpy in places, I don't have eight degrees and I'm as useless with money as I am with knowing when to say 'no' in the pub - but I've decided that I'm allll-right. None of this superflous stuff matters. If you're happy with yourself and have friends and loved ones that agree, then I reckon you've mastered the meaning of life. Everything else is just window-dressing.
It took me a long time to figure that last one out. Ohhh, approximately 28 years or thereabouts. I'm not a subscriber to the theory of depression being chemically induced and it was with professional help that I finally, positively accepted who I am. And I feel fantastic for it. Of course I'm still going to have my ups and downs, everyone does, but life seems so much more filled with joy and opportunity than it did at any other point in my life.

So this year, whilst I haven't moved on tangibly with my situation, I have greatly sorted myself out emotionally. What this means is that I'm in a much better frame of mind to start living a bit more next year, to take some more risks. I now recognise what is important to me and as long as I have that I can't really fail can I? Hopefully next year I'll have a long list - even if they're all downers, at least it'll be because I tried.

7 comments:

Jamie said...

Amen to that.

Good post.

Still, the year's not over just yet!

bagelmouse said...

You try having a fecking menstrual cycle, then you'll find out what natural chemicals can do, yer bastard...

Will said...

So you're saying it was all PMS then?

;)

Kate said...

Great post Will. Really glad to hear you're so happy with things.

bagelmouse said...

Don't make me come over there and slap you winky boy (incidentally, in happy mode right now...)

Jamie said...

Candida Albicans is a totally natural occurance in your body but you have a hard enough time believing that... Eh? EH?

bagelmouse said...

Um, no... what I had a hard time believing was that the guy could diagnose you from pushing on your arm. The Candida makes sense. The methodology - maybe a tad suspect. And I thought you'd agreed to DROP THIS STUFF. Bait me in public and I will respond...